It makes you wonder...

It makes you wonder is the system ever really on your side? No matter how hard you try, they always will come up with something even if they have to lie, snoop and degrade you. They will find something on you. You can be like me, never been in trouble, not a drug user, single mother of three beautiful children and trying hard to make your childrens life easy. Making sure your kids are taken care of and they come first. Yet they will hurt those kind of parents the hardest.

You read about parents that live like slobs, beat their children, go out partying all day, do drugs in front of their children, yet child services is called on them and nothing happens to them. I have seen child services called on a lady that let her 2 year old daughter outside butt naked without any parents or supervision, and yet child services doesn't do anything about that.

I have known people that had meth labs in their homes and they had child services called on them and they still have their kids. Parents that do crack in front of their kids, and live in a home with nothing, moving place to place with nothing, sleeping in empty apartments with no electricity yet their children are still in their home.

Then you see me, actually trying to do everything for my children. I would NEVER imagine doing drugs or putting my children in harms way. I am careful who I choose to hang out with because in todays world you never really know who to trust, especially around children, yet they have me dangling from a leash telling me I will lose my children over the silliest things. Like not getting rid of my kitten that is so well behaved. They are wanting things from me and turning my world around.

I am finally happy having my sons father back in my life, yet they continue to harass me and try to make my life hard. They aren't happy to see me with someone. Though he has a perfect background record, has a history of great jobs, and a great father. They look at you like you are a liar, imperfection is what they look for, and make themselves sound like the perfect people in the world. We all have flaws, no matter who you are, you have flaws. It's human nature. NO parent is perfect, all we can do is try our best and learn from our mistakes.

I sit here writing this hoping to get some anger off my chest. Praying I will keep my kids and get to move and live a happy life and have the family and life I have always dreamed of. Nothing will bring back my baby boy, but he will never be gone from my mind or heart. I want to make the best for his brother and sister, and give them a life that I got as a child. It's just hard living day by day wondering "could today be my last day with my children"