It's been a month since I said goodbye

I keep thinking that it's been a month since I said goodbye. It's 1:55 am and at this time a month ago he was awake and giggling at me and laughing and just seemed so much happier then ever before. He was such an amazing little boy full of love and excitment. I miss his beautiful smile and those beautiful dimples. I miss his eyes full of learning.


I guess I can share his birth story it was a crazy birth story...

From 37 weeks - 39 weeks pregnant I kept getting braxton hicks that would come 5 minutes apart for hours on end, but I never ran to the hospital because I wanted to wait to see if they would last and they never would. I was due July 8th, 2010. The morning of July 9th, 2010 I woke up at 1 am with some contractions but I just through they were braxton hicks once again so I didn't get too excited. But I stayed awake to see if it was the real deal. They were 15 minutes apart, then the next would be 13, then the next 15, then 12 they weren't consistant so I figured they were just braxton hicks once again.


As time went on they seemed to get closer together but still not consistent. There was even a 30 minute break where I didn't get any contractions. Plus I thought your water had to break for you to be in labor. That's what happened with my last son.


Around 6 am I was STILL getting contractions except now they were like 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 6 minutes, 5 again. So I called the hospital and they told me to come in. I figured they were just going to send me home, so I didn't take my diaper bag or anything. My stepmom watched my kids, my dad was at work. So I got in my car and drove to the hospital. I was on the phone with my mom telling her each time I got a contraction. They were getting closer and more painful. She told me they were about 2-3 minutes apart.


By the time I got myself to the hospital I couldn't walk. I would take 2 steps and cry. Finally someone got me in a wheelchair. I felt like I had to pee, I mean it felt like I was going to pee myself, I kept begging to sit on a toilet. Finally I got to, and that's when I realized I didn't have to pee, that pressure hurt and I couldn't really get off the toilet, finally I got off and got in the hospital bed for the nurse to check me.


She says "Looks like we're going to have a baby today" I said "how far along am I" thinking I would be maybe 5 cm, because I figured that anything further would be PAINFUL. She told me "You're 10 cm" that's when I freaked out. I wanted an epidoral, I wanted something but I got NOTHING. I was crying. I was scared, all by myself about to have a natural birth.


It was 7:00 by the time I got to the hospital and 7:10 when I started pushing. (They had to break my water first) He was already on his way out by the time I got in the bed. So 1-2 pushes and he was out. 7:14 am he was born. I got to cut his cord and hold him. I have to admit it was SO painful having a natural birth, and to have everything they do after without any medicine. But I got to see my son. My beautiful July baby, just like mommy. We were both July babies. He was born 17 days before my birthday, and only 8 before my dad's birthday.


Well that's his birth story, it was a crazy birth. But so rewarding and something that made me stronger.